When is a loss more valuable than a win?
I have spent this week with nine incredible young men, part of a much larger group of other incredible young men. I was supposed to be helping them have a good time at Cub Scout Day Camp, not the other way around.
We play a game throughout the week called Capture the Flag. It’s as simple as it sounds, for the most part, but there are some rules that protect each den’s flag when they are at activities so that the kids can focus on the activity without worrying about losing their flag. For most of the week our flag has been well guarded by our den. (“Den Ten—Seminole Winds” is our den cheer.) We almost left it behind at the archery range but one of our guys was fleet-footed enough to recover it before the next den up realized that we had left it. Thursday afternoon, disaster struck. As we were all listening to our instructor explaining the flyway corridor nearest to our area, someone from another den, or perhaps a staff member, they’re known to be devious as well, removed our flag from its safety spot and took it to the staff area.
Den Ten was collectively livid. They asked the staff why the safety spot didn’t protect the flag from being stolen, while we were in our activity area. The explanation that we weren’t paying attention was not satisfactory to the den, because that was the whole point of the safety spot. I think the reason our flag was stolen is because up till that time it hadn’t been.
There came a time to explain to my den that we simply weren’t going to win this one. We needed to accept the situation as good sports, sing a song in payment for its return, and move forward. Of course the injustice didn’t sit well with our boys who have played by the rules, often at my insistence, but nonetheless played by the rules. I really haven’t had any issues about “playing by the rules,” but there were many instances of clarification on the rules, and to their credit, when any of my guys had any question as to whether a flag was “fair game,” they did ask.
Many of our Achievement activities come with a requirement to complete a Character Connection to the rest of the activities. The game of Capture the Flag, at least today’s events pursuant to it, came with its own Character Connection. Tomorrow I will have an opportunity to gather my guys for one final round of fun, and I want to explain to them that while winning is fun, sometimes it comes with a price that is simply too high to pay. When that price is our integrity, the loss has more value. When a win causes irreparable damage to a relationship, the loss has more value. When we learn more from a loss than we would from a win, the loss has more value.
And I owe Den Ten a debt of gratitude for helping me remember that.
Thanks, guys. I will never forget these five days.