SouthernFriedYanqui

As human beings, we are often driven by a sense of purpose or a set of principles that guide our actions and decisions. Purpose and principles are not the same, but one is not better than the other. We often hear about these paths applied to business leadership, but by examining them in that context, we can figure out which, if either, is a practical way to progress in our own lives. Interestingly, you can flip back and forth as the seasons — or even just the weather — of your life change.

The Purpose-driven Approach

The purpose-driven approach is characterized by a singular focus on achieving a specific goal or mission. This approach is often associated with companies that have a clear and compelling vision, such as Tesla or Patagonia. The benefits of a purpose-driven approach are that it can inspire employees, attract customers, and create a sense of meaning and purpose. However, a limitation of this approach is that it can sometimes lead to a myopic focus on the end goal, which can cause companies to overlook ethical considerations or long-term sustainability.

I’ve been purpose-driven since the beginning of the year. I have been wanting to finish a book for about six years, and that’s too long to want to finish something. This year, instead of setting six goals in six different areas, I set One Big Goal, to get that book published in 2023. I broke it down into my first quarter goal, then into January tasks. I didn’t bother with the other quarters or even the other months in the first quarter until I saw how January went. This has worked exceptionally well for me, and now, in May, I’m bringing in the last of the recent research, and I have plans for what to do when that’s done. By the end of May, I’ll be ready for the step that comes after “write the book.”

The downside of being so focused is that none of my other goals is getting attention. I had to find a way to be okay with that. I found it in the realization that I didn’t do well at those other goals when I had six goals and small objectives on each one. Maybe when I get this out of the way, I can either set one other big goal, or I may go back to six smaller goals. Or I may take a different approach altogether, because I get to choose.

The Principle-driven Approach

On the other hand, the principle-driven approach is characterized by a commitment to a set of values or beliefs that guide decision-making. Companies that follow this approach prioritize ethical considerations and social responsibility, such as Ben & Jerry’s or The Body Shop. The benefits of a principle-driven approach are that it can foster a culture of integrity and trust, build long-term customer loyalty, and create a positive impact on society. However, a limitation of this approach is that it can sometimes be rigid or inflexible, which can limit innovation or adaptability.

In most areas of my life, I apply a principle-driven approach. You probably do, too. You have some lines you won’t cross, some hills you’d be willing to die on. My principles are mostly derived from my religious beliefs. I believe in giving my employer my very best, because that’s what I agreed to. Some days my very best is exemplified in getting a lot of little things accomplished, some days it means that I spend a lot of time on one thing, and some days it means I’m focused on learning something that lets me do my job better, but every day it means my company gets my best effort at whatever the tasks are.

How Do I Choose?

Despite their differences, purpose-driven and principle-driven approaches share some similarities. Both approaches focus on values and beliefs that guide decision-making, prioritize ethics and social responsibility, and aim to create long-term impact. However, the key difference between the two approaches lies in their focus. While the purpose-driven approach is focused on achieving a specific goal, the principle-driven approach is focused on adhering to a set of values.

So which approach is right for you? The answer depends on a variety of factors, such as current season of life, family culture, the expectations others have for you, and the goals you and your primary group have. It’s important to choose an approach that aligns with your and your family’s values and goals, and that takes into account the needs of your “stakeholders” (all the different people who are impacted by what you do), including family, employer or customers if you’re a business owner, and society as a whole.

Whether you are driven by a sense of purpose or a set of principles at this point in your life, the key is to approach your decisions with integrity and a commitment to ethical considerations and personal responsibility. By doing so, you can create a positive impact on everyone around you, build a strong personal reputation, and achieve long-term success.

I’ve always felt like a fraud. Well, maybe not exactly a fraud, more like a play-actor. Like I didn’t really belong. Like everyone around me was smarter, more talented, and more deserving of success than I was. I used to think that I was the only one who felt this way, but as I’ve grown older and talked to more people, I’ve realized that these feelings are actually quite common. They’re called impostor syndrome, and they can be incredibly debilitating. In this blog post, I’ll share my personal experience with impostor syndrome, explain what it is, discuss some of the causes, and offer tips for overcoming it.

Impostor syndrome is the persistent feeling that you’re not as competent as others perceive you to be, and that your successes are due to luck rather than your own abilities. People with impostor syndrome often worry that they will be exposed as less-competent, and that they don’t deserve their achievements. Symptoms of impostor syndrome include self-doubt, anxiety, and a fear of failure. Impostor syndrome is surprisingly common, with up to 70% of people experiencing it at some point in their lives.

There are many possible causes of impostor syndrome. Childhood experiences, such as being told that you’re not good enough or being constantly compared to others, can contribute to feelings of inadequacy. Certain personality traits, such as perfectionism, can also make it difficult to accept and celebrate one’s own successes. Societal pressures, such as the expectation that women or people of color must work harder than others to prove themselves, can also play a role in impostor syndrome. I think in my case, it came on me because I knew I hadn’t lived up to my potential and made decisions that derailed my progress. Even after I got my bachelor’s degree and was on an educational level with my peers, I still felt “less,” but only with regard to my job. In every other facet of my life, I felt like a rockstar.

Overcoming impostor syndrome can be a challenging process, but it is possible. The first step is to recognize and accept that you’re experiencing impostor syndrome. This can be difficult, as many people with impostor syndrome feel like they’re the only ones who feel this way. However, knowing that you’re not alone can be incredibly empowering. The next step is to change your self-talk and beliefs. Instead of focusing on your perceived shortcomings, try to focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Seeking support and feedback from trusted friends and colleagues can also help you to overcome impostor syndrome. Finally, it’s important to celebrate your successes, no matter how small, and to embrace your failures as opportunities to learn and grow.

In my own experience, I’ve found that the best way to overcome impostor syndrome is to focus on the work itself, rather than the validation or recognition that may come with it. When I’m able to immerse myself in a project and focus on the process, rather than the outcome, I find that my impostor syndrome fades away. Of course, this is easier said than done, and I still struggle with impostor syndrome on a regular basis. But knowing that I’m not alone, and that there are steps I can take to overcome it, gives me hope.

If you’re experiencing impostor syndrome, I want you to know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel like a fraud sometimes, and it’s okay to struggle with self-doubt and anxiety. But it’s also important to recognize that these feelings are not an accurate reflection of your abilities or worth. With time, effort, and support, you can overcome impostor syndrome and achieve your goals. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. Remember, you are not an impostor – you belong here.

Before I get too deep into this post, I’ll tell you that I have the answer to my own question. It’s not really a rhetorical question, though, because I didn’t have the answer until recently. Well, maybe I did and I didn’t want to admit it to myself. That’s probably closer to the truth. I’m a serious productivity junkie and making progress is very important to me. There’s never a time when making progress is not important, contrary to outward appearances at times.

What do I mean by “productivity junkie?”

I’m so glad you asked. I am in a constant search to improve my life, to do things better, use fewer steps, reach more people with an important message, keep my house neater without killing myself, optimize my income sources. I want to read books deeply and get as much out of them as I can. I want to learn everything in the world, except the medical arts. I want to get immense satisfaction from my vocation and my hobbies. I read newsletters, books, blogs, and books that promise to help me drive procrastination from my life, take action on my dreams, learn something quickly, start something and finish it, succeed at some objective or other. Here’s what I learned:

Systems are the key

Systems are the key to making things happen. I have some really great systems in place. Please understand that I didn’t say that I always stick to them, and therein lies the problem, or, as Shakespeare said, “Ah–there’s the rub.” It’s not enough to have systems; I need to work them as they’re intended to be worked.

Get things done

David Allen’s book Getting Things Done was the game changer for me, because it introduced me to a system that I could put into use immediately and build on and even adapt. The book is not a simple piece of work, because it forces you to consider several things at once while setting yourself up to focus on only one thing at a time. Also, the process of setting up the system is extremely messy. You’re bringing out stuff and dealing with it while you get it all put together, and there’s really no other way to do it. While it is important to have and understand a mission of your own, the work gets done at ground level.

I started using Evernote’s notebooks to keep track of my projects (as defined in Getting Things Done), and it would have worked, but then I discovered an app called Nozbe. I don’t know how well the free version of Evernote would have worked for me, because I have one of the paid versions, and Nozbe is not free either; there’s a free trial so you can see if it will work for you. Nozbe was designed around the Getting Things Done (GTD) methodology, so it really is the perfect software to help me with the spaghetti that is my thoughts.

The biggest thing that Nozbe and GTD has done for me was in liberating me from trying to remember things. If I have a thought that I want to think about later, or act on later, it goes into some sort of collection system. This system, for me, consists of my email inbox, my paper mail inbox, post-its and other scraps of paper like appointment cards, my paper-based planner, my nozbe inbox, my voice memos on my phone, and a digital voice recorder. (Voice memos rely on an internet connection, and for three years my commute didn’t always have me connected to the internet.) Once an idea has entered my collection system, I don’t think about it again until my coordination day, which is Saturday. (I used to do it on Sunday, but we started doing family dinners on Sundays and I don’t want to take time away from such a wonderful gathering.) The exception is if an item needs action before my coordination day, it goes onto my calendar immediately.

Setting up to GTD

I told you it’s a messy process, and it’s a bit time-consuming, but when you work the system, the system works. You need to set up a file system for papers you need to keep (I did that but I’ve improved it since then, and I’ll explain that later), an incubator, a reading/research file, and a “tickler” file. Allen didn’t call it that, but I worked once for an inventor who did. The tickler file consists of a file folder for each month, plus 31 daily file folders. You’ll have some things that don’t have relevance until some future date, and that’s how this gets used. You arrange the monthly folders chronologically beginning with the current month, and each of the daily folders chronologically beginning with tomorrow’s; the folders for days past will go behind next month’s monthly folder, in preparation for that month. As you approach a new month, you’ll look in the month’s folder and put the items from that folder into appropriate dated folders, then move the month’s folder to the end of the months group. Date- and time-sensitive items need to be noted on your calendar, with a note of the material in the folder. Checking each day’s folder should happen early in your day.

Here’s where the magic happens

On my coordination day, you’re going to gather your collections from your email, your paper mail, your post-its and other paper scraps, your voice memos, your other digital memos and process the material. By “process,” I mean that you will address each item and you will either 1) act on it, 2) schedule it, 3) create a project, or 4) file it appropriately. Allen’s rule is that if something takes less than two minutes, just do it. A project is anything that requires more than two steps. For things you don’t want to make a project for, you use an incubator file. These are articles you want to write, paintings you want to paint, trips you want to take, anything that is nebulous and fluid and not ready for action.

When everything is processed, you can look at your current projects and ask — and this is the critical question — “What’s the next action?” You can’t complete the project until you complete the next action. I sit in a few meetings a week, and the effective meetings focus on actions instead of things “we need” to do. When you understand the next action, you can plan it. If you are unclear as to how to complete the next action, you may be unclear as to what it actually should be.

I also use one project for my recurring tasks–housecleaning tasks, bills that need paid on a certain day of the month, insurance that comes around twice a year for each vehicle, my weekly, monthly, quarterly, semi-annual, and annual review, even my annual document purge.

While I was in college, I used a project for each of my courses to help me stay current on my work. I got the assignment list for each course at the beginning of each term, so I was able to line it out for the whole term. I love seeing things get checked off my list. I use Nozbe’s calendar to schedule each “next action” and recurring task. On Saturday morning I get an email that tells me how I did for the week.

Where did I go wrong?

What happened to my system? How did I fall off the rails on everything I wanted to get done? The answer is simple. I quit working my system.

Today’s a new day. I’m going to try to commit to 30 days of working my system. I’m not under any sort of impression that some miracle of productivity is going to happen. I do believe I’ll get more of the things done that matter.

If you’d like to see how Nozbe works, or even how I used Evernote before I got Nozbe, drop a comment below.

What’s your system to accomplish the most important tasks in your world?

After, or even during, a major event—mass shooting, weather disturbance, actions as a result of a pandemic—in discussions about public policy or legislation, we often see “How would you feel if it were you/your child/your parent?” I have told friends several times, “I don’t know how I would feel in that situation, and neither do you.” Now I have scientific evidence to support my claim. It turns out that none of us is good at knowing how we’ll feel in the future if we don’t have a reference point in the past.

Dr. Katy Milkman pointed this out in Choiceology podcast episode 7 from way back in 2018. This episode had such a powerful impact on me that I didn’t even realize how log ago it was. It opens with New York Times bestselling business author Dan Heath asking passersby who their favorite bands were ten years ago, and how much they would pay for a ticket today to see that band. The responses ranged between $10 and $30. Mr. Heath then asked the same people who their favorite bands are today and how much they believed they would pay to see that band ten years from now.  The respondents felt they would easily be willing to pay more than $100 to see today’s favorite band. The point of the experience was to demonstrate that it was easy to see how things had changed from a point in the past to today, but that casting forward and seeing the changes likely to take place is more difficult. This informal and unscientific study is based on the work of psychologists Dan Gilbert and Timothy Wilson, which was much more formal and scientific.

The podcast presents the experiences of two people who have each experienced life-changing events. One was an Olympic gold medalist, and the other was a man who broke his neck diving out of a boat into a lake, leaving him unable to move on his own, unable to breathe without assistance.  Two stories, one of euphoric high, the other of despondent and desperate low.

The Olympian’s life had been centered around training and working toward a particular goal, and after she reached it, she didn’t know what came next. Her life imploded, her marriage included, because it had never occurred to her that there was an “after I win the gold medal” for which she had to plan. She was asked, “Did your post-Olympic experience match your expectations?” Her response was that it had not, because she had always thought that after you reach such a lofty goal, everything just sort of “worked out.”

The quadriplegic had the option, under Michigan law, to end his life if he so chose, because he would never be able to function independently. He had considered how he might kill himself, but, in the moment of decision, he chose to live, knowing that everything he had planned was suddenly going to be very different.

Both of these stories have satisfying outcomes, but the outcomes were not what either had considered at the moment of change for them. The Olympian lives a “normal” life, working a nice office job, raising a family. The injured man started a company that provides adaptive equipment for impaired patients and provides advocacy for others.

Looking ten years down the road from both events, neither is what each expected.

The reason for this is because we can look at a possible future event, but we cannot anticipate all of the incidents and moments that lead from now to then. If you are an Olympian, and someone asks you what your life looks like ten years down the road, you may imagine endorsements, appearances, offers from members of the opposite sex, riding the wave of your success. If you are injured to the point of complete loss of independence, you may envision lingering despair, absence of any dignity, no possibility of a meaningful life. Both of these are possibilities, but there is also a full range of opportunities and events between the ends of the spectrum, and we simply cannot see them all.

Whatever comes in your life, you may set goals and make plans. You may think that a new car, a new job, a new love, will change everything for you. “If only…” this or that would happen, everything will be wonderful. The reality is that even when your favorite team wins the championship, there’s still laundry to do. If you gain the new job or promotion, it’s still work that you are responsible to accomplish.

The point is not to undermine great accomplishment and efforts. If you earn it, by all means, own it and enjoy it. The point is that we play folly if we believe we know how we will feel in the future. If you’ve ever been disappointed by something you eagerly anticipated, you have experienced the downside of affective forecasting. We’re just not good at it.

I love putting rumors to bed, so let’s do this.

You’re complaining that Facebook has “removed” your post, because you’re seeing this:

It hasn’t been removed. It just requires a little more attention. Here’s why:

It’s not censorship. It’s just one tiny click added. Suck it up and click the button, and you can see the photo.