To get into a discussion of seeing other people as God sees them, we first have to talk about perception. Without giving a pedantic definition, perception is the process of interpreting information that our senses gather for us, and understanding that information. Perception involves recognizing, organizing, and making sense of all that information, like sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures. It forms our understanding of the world and all of our experiences in the world. Obviously, the process of perceiving our world will be influenced by our past experiences, our beliefs, and our cultural background. As a result, perception is a unique personal experience for each of us.
We can see, then, that not only is our perception influenced by us, our perception influences us in return. It colors how we see new experiences and objects, and it touches how we interact with the world and the people around us.
The Power of Perception in Shaping Relationships
Our perceptions always have an effect on our relationships, in all of those relationships’ stages. Perceptions influence how we interpret what other people do, and what we think they intend to do. Because of that, our interpretations play a critical role in how we respond to others and relate to them.
Since our perceptions are influenced by things that are unique and individual to each of us, different people will perceive the same situation in different ways. This can lead to misunderstandings, even though two parties may actually come close to agreeing on a position. For example, words and phrases have different regional and generational meanings. If I were to describe an action as “sick,” someone of my generation would think I am attributing degeneracy to it, but someone of my sons’ generation might think I strongly approved of the action. Another, more obvious example is temperature differences. In my region, 65 degrees is layering weather – T-shirt plus sweater plus windbreaker. In more northern areas, 65 degrees is shed-the-blanket weather.
These differences are going to happen. Too often, they result in conflict, because it doesn’t occur to either party that they’re dealing with differences in perception, rather than differences in values or real issues. Active listening, that is listening to truly understand instead of listening to form your response, and genuinely trying to see the other person’s point of view can lead to conflict resolution, if both parties are sincere in the pursuit of it.
Another barrier to accurate perception can be a tendency toward self-preservation. If we feel threatened, we often shut down our “receive” mode. We throw up walls of protection so that we don’t have to face the possibility of physical or emotional damage. By becoming invulnerable to hurt, we also become impervious to true representations.
Our experiences, especially negative ones, can color our perception of our current relationships, and this can generate defensive or hostile reactions. We can head these off with some self-awareness. Recognizing that we may have some inaccurate perceptions can help us seek to correct those inaccuracies. If you could do that, what would that do for your relationships?
Our cultural and social backgrounds will influence how we perceive others, and others’ cultural and social backgrounds will influence how they perceive us. In environments with diverse cultural and social elements (people, events, and things), these differences have the potential to lead to clashes. They don’t have to. Seeking to understand things from the other side – truly seeking to do so, not just giving lip service to it – can help create a more harmonious set of conditions.
Understanding the Divine Nature
My church teaches that we are all spirit children of a loving Father in Heaven. All of us. As such, each of us has inestimable value to Him. In our daily interactions with other people, it’s easy to forget that, and to let our worldly perceptions influence how we feel about people. One time, I was struggling to find good feelings toward someone I knew. I hated the way I felt, but I didn’t know how I could change it. There were good reasons that we needed to be able to get along, but just telling myself to “just get along” wasn’t helping. I decided to try and pray about it. I prayed fervently (that’s a good enough word to leave you to look up on your own) to see that person as God saw them. What I saw was someone who was decidedly human. Fragile. Flawed and broken. Like me. A lot like me.
I declare to you that what I had seen in this person before my prayers was something less than my equal, something not entirely as human as I am. I was holding them to a higher level of expectations than I myself expected to achieve. For some reason, I expected them to be better than I was seeing them to be. My perception was off. My perception was corrected when I allowed God to show me how I should be seeing them. Decidedly human. Fragile. Flawed and broken. Like me. A lot like me.
Not only that, though – I also saw the value in them that Heavenly Father sees. I can’t tell you how much that did for me. Our church teaches that “…the worth of souls is great…”(D&C 18:10). We often think of the temporal assistance we can offer when we think of that, but that day, God reminded me that the scripture quoted offered no qualification as to which souls have great worth. The implication is that all souls are of great worth, and I have no right to consider the worth of someone else’s soul as less than the worth of my own.
The Contrast Between Earthly and Divine Perspectives
When we’re not thinking in a “churchy” or spiritual manner, we fall back to our typical human perceptions, which are limited and subjective. One prime example is the 9/11 hijackers. In America, we believe that the hijackers committed despicable acts. Does Heavenly Father approve of those acts? I don’t believe He does. Does he love His children? I believe He does. Each of us has done something, at some time, that has been a disappointment to God. He has to watch us treat each other pretty horribly sometimes. It’s like watching your own children being really ugly to each other – it’s tangibly painful as a parent. Imagine that on a global scale from the beginning of time. And he still loves us.
I’ve been able to apply that method of seeing others from a divine perspective to even my close relationships. It works in my professional relationships. It works with total strangers. It works with anyone I have trouble feeling loving toward. I don’t always come away with a “warm fuzzy” feeling, but at least I see them as human.
What Would This Do For You?
What would it mean for you, and for your relationships, to be able to see others as God sees them? How would this impact your marriage? Your relationships with your children? Your understanding of the person in front of you at the supermarket? What would it spur you to do? I can tell you it has changed my life. Drop a comment below and continue the conversation. Have you tried it? What was the result?